Parenting Coach

Career Strategist & Brand Strategist

I AM

image
Hello,

I'm Manish Sharma

An accomplished parenting coach with over 16 years of experience. He has coached over 25000 teachers and over 80,000 parents in enabling them to raise kids with love and affection. As a Parenting Coach, the endeavour is to guide the parents in creating a healthy, happy and balanced family life by working on improved communication and relationship between parents and children.

He offers a range of parenting perspectives and techniques covering toddler and teenage segment. His techniques guide parents in developing their skills in adapting to best practices and strategies to improve child behaviour and performance at home, in school and in life. He also works in the area of Career Counselling, and Personal Growth by connecting Science and Spirituality.

Through his NGO DEEP, he is engaged in developing a team of professional parenting coaches. He is activel involved in spreading “Awareness on Child Abuse” and “Awareness on menace of drugs”

In association with People for People Society he has initiated an awareness program called “DEEP- Developmental Encouraging and Effective Parenting” an interactive discussion on different aspect of Child Development.


WORK DOMAINS
Parenting Coach

www.deepparenting.org

Career Strategist

www.school2campus.com

Brand Strategist

www.occon.in


Experience
Vice President

FIRST - Foundation for Intelligence Research and Synergy Trainings

Founding Member

The Trainers' Camp

Founder & President

DEEP - Developmental, Encouraging & Effective Parenting


My Skills
Business Development
Training & Development
Performance Management
Team Leadership
Brand Development

90000

Parents Trained

25000

Teachers Trained

154

Schools Served

336

Trainings Done

My Signature Programs

Personality Profiling - DISC

Understanding Personality Traits of an Individual using DISC- Personality Proffling Based on Dr. William Marston's Personality Proffiling Theory

Change Management

Specially designed Drama Based training program to understand Change Itself, Change Curve, Impact of Change and Ways to Change Based on Book "Who Moved My Cheese"

Developmental Parenting

Specially designed coaching program for Parents of Toddlers, Middle‐schoolers & Teenagers to be Effective Parents.

Group Dynamics

This session that helps you understand group dynamics and its role in the success of business. It's a critical component of people and task management.

Leadership with Dil Power

A Specially designed program for managers to understand importance of Personal Powers over Positional Powers.

Couple Re-Lesson-Ship

Specially designed program for Couples to understand each other well. Based John Grey's Book "Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus"

FRESH CONTENT - Developmental Parenting

TEENS - Drug Abuse & Addiction


World Health Organization defines drug addiction as follows:


“Drug addiction is the state of periodic or chronic intoxication detrimental to the individual and to society, produced by the repeated consumption of a drug (natural or synthetic). Its characteristics include

(1) an overpowering desire or need (compulsion) to continue taking the drug and to obtain it by any means

(2) a tendency to increase the dosage, and

(3) a psychic (psychological) and sometimes physical dependence on the effects of the drug.”

This is emerging as a challenge that requires immediate attention and policy intervention from Indian government.  Young generation is the premise to build future of the nation and if current generation is deeply immersed with such addiction, nation will be deprived of productive human resources in the future. 

Teens who abuse drugs may have a greater risk of developing an addiction when they grow adults. Drugs have a more drastic effect on children and teens than on adults because the brain continues to develop until about age 20. In young age alcohol and other drugs disrupt brain development. They negatively affect a person’s memory and ability to respond to stimuli and to respond to stressful situations.

Anyone who tries a drug initially never plans to become addicted. Just because a teen has tried drugs or alcohol doesn’t mean he/she will become an addict. There is difference between drug abuse and addiction. Addiction occurs when frequent usage of drugs effects brain functions over time. The transition from voluntary to compulsive drug use reflects changes in the brain’s natural inhibition and reward centers that keep a person from exerting control over the impulse to use drugs. Developing brains are also more prone to addiction. Teenager’s brain adapt more quickly to repeated drug use, leading to cravings and dependence.
There is no single reason why teenagers use drugs or alcohol. But here are some of the core issues and influences behind the behaviour of teenage drug and alcohol use.
Curiosity: Many teens begin experimenting with drugs and alcohol simply because they are curious and want to know what it feels like. Even if they know that drugs are bad, they don’t believe that anything bad can actually happen to them.
Peer Pressure: Peers are most influential at this stage of life. Many teens use drugs “because others are doing it”—or they think others are doing it—and they fear not being accepted in a social circle that includes drug-using peers.
Having Fun :  Past studies used to point to “having fun” as the number-one reason teens using drugs. It’s fun getting drunk or high with friends, sharing an intensely pleasurable drug-induced euphoria. Teens don’t get addicted to substance but they get addicted to the mood that the substance brings. Abused drugs interact with the neurochemistry of the brain to produce feelings of pleasure. The intensity of this euphoria differs by the type of drug and how it is used.
Lack of Confidence/ Low Self-Esteem:  A study reported that most of the teens say that they use drugs to “feel cool.” Teens’ self-worth depends on the approval of others, and their desire for social acceptance can drive them to engage in destructive behaviors, even if they know it could harm them. Teens who have low self-esteem are more likely to seek acceptance from the wrong crowd by using drugs.
Stress: Some teens turn to drugs and alcohol as a form of escapism. Many teenagers are overly stressed with a packed schedule of advanced classes and extracurricular activities. A lack of coping skills can lead them to seek an artificial method of coping with stress.  When they feel stressed or pressurized they see these substances as a way to forget existing problems and feel happier.
Misinformation: Studies show that teens are widely misinformed about the risk/dangers attached to drugs abuse. Teens who perceive little risk in using drugs are more likely to use drugs. Teens need to be educated by parents and teachers about the specific risks of drugs.

If you are concerned that your teen might be using drugs, here are some common warning signs to watch for.
Behavioural Changes:
  • Decreased interest in activities and hobbies.
  • Isolating themselves from friends or family.
  • Acting secretive.
  • Avoiding eye contact.
  • Changing friends or social circles.
  • Extreme highs and lows
  • Slurred or rapid-fire speech.
  • Unusual tiredness 

Physical Changes:

  • Bloodshot Eyes.
  • Poor hygiene
  • Smell of smoke on breath or clothes
  • Excessive thirst or hunger
  • Sudden weight loss or gain
  • Coordination problems
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Shakes or tremors
  • Pinpoint pupils
The most common drugs abused by teens aren’t much different from those of adults. But the reasons for abuse may be different as teens often abuse a substance based on its accessibility. Teens are also more likely to take excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol because of how they perceive the risks and dangers.

Alcohal: Intake in liquid state e.g  Beer, Whisky, Rum, Vodka

Marijuana: Also called weed, pot, grass, ganja and many more other slang names. It’s get consumed by smoking and vaporizing 
Prescriptions and Over-the-counter Medications: Pills, Capsules, Injections, Syrups
Smack (Heroine): is a white or brown. It can be mixed with water and injected with a needle. Heroin can also be smoked or snorted up the nose. Also called Snow, White lady, Horse, H, Eagle, Chitta, Brown Sugar, Mud

Recognition and prevention of drug use can end an emerging problem before it starts. Parents can play an important role in keeping their kids away from this curse.

Strong Bond: Have a strong bond with your child. Teens who have healthy relationships with their parents may be more likely to discuss their encounters with drugs.
  • Having at least one meal a day with the entire family present
  • Making time to talk with teenagers regularly to check in with their feelings, activities and behaviours
  • Getting to know a teenager’s friends and their parents
  • Communicating with teachers and school counselors on an ongoing basis
  • Participating in community activities that keep schools and neighborhoods safe for teenagers
  • Attending your teen’s school activities and showing support for her interests
  • Letting your teenager know every day that you love him and care about his future
Teach Your Teen How to Say No to Friends: Friends are important. Teens trust their friends, and they seek their approval. However, children need to know how to resist peer pressure and make their own decisions. If a friend offers alcohol or drugs, your child must understand the power of saying no. When surrounded by friends who avoid drugs and alcohol, saying no becomes easier. Encourage your teen to hang out with friends who choose not to use alcohol and other drugs.


Discuss Risk involved in Substance abuse: Being involved in your teen’s life is one of the best ways to prevent substance abuse. Having open and honest discussions about the dangers of drinking, drug use and peer pressure can make a huge difference. Parents who do not want their kids getting drunk and using drugs should begin by sending a strong message to their children about the importance of avoiding drugs and alcohol.

Be a Role Model: One of the most important ways parents influence their children is by being positive role models. Teens mimic what they see. That means parents should keep alcohol and other drugs away from the home. If you drink in front of your children, do so in moderation and explain why it’s important for kids to abstain from alcohol until their brains are fully developed.

Engage them in Physical & other recreational activities: Keep them busy in sports, art, music, dance or any other activity they want to pursue in life. People those who pursue their hobbies have lesser chance to get addicted.

Key Points:
  • Many teens experiment with drugs, but aren’t addicted.
  • No one who tries a drug; plan to become addicted.
  • Some people can have one drink or one hit and stop. It’s not as easy for others — especially those who have a family history of addiction.
  • Teens don’t get addicted to substance they get addicted to the mood that the substance brings.
  • Teens who perceive little risk in using drugs are more likely to use drugs.
  • Many shy teenagers who lack confidence report that they’ll do things under the influence of alcohol or drugs that they might not otherwise.
  • Recognition and prevention of drug use can end an emerging problem before it starts.
  • The most common drugs abused by teens aren’t much different from those of adults. But the reasons for abuse may be different as teens often abuse a substance based on its accessibility


`"Let's raise children who don't have to recover from mistakes of childhood in their youth"

Manish Sharma
Parenting Coach
www.mannishsharma.com
+91 9815320232

Tech & Toddlers


Too much of anything is not good and this also stands true about exposure of Media available today to kids. I have been receiving numerous queries from parents in this regard:


  • What shall be the permissible limit to play video games?
  • To which extent shall we allow our kids to watch TV
  • How to differentiate their viewing of educational videos from entertainment videos?  


Good part about this problem is that parents at least started realizing that problem exists. Let's  discuss how to address this issue.

Rules for TV watching:

1. Separate Viewing from Chewing:
If you allow your child to watch television while eating meal, it might make your child become heavily dependent upon it. Research shows that the particular combination of eating while watching something is a strong motivator to get your kids hooked to TV.

2. Decide What is allowed to be watched:
Children can easily hook upon a movie or a TV series that aren't meant for them. This is why it is imperative that you decide what is best for your child. It shall be age appropriate.

3. Set a Family Time for watching TV
Have time when you and your kids can enjoy a fun family movie once in a while. This will give you the chance to interact with your kids and spend some quality time together.

4. Kid's room should not have the TV
TV does keep kids out of your way when you're busy, but giving your kids a separate television for their rooms is simply asking for trouble. Your kids are more likely to find and watch inappropriate programs and you will not be able to control what they watch, and the amount of time they spend on the TV. 

 Rules for Video Games:

      1.  Having fun with video games should only be allowed after children have taken care of  other responsibilities. For example, parents are strongly advised to set a rule that video  games can only be played after homework is completed (and completed with effort). 
   
      2. Access to computer/video games should be viewed as an earned privilege, not an             automatic right. 

3.   Keep computers and gadgets out of a child's bedroom. It is much easier to limit computer gaming (and monitor online activity) if computers are in open spaces or family rooms. To ensure children not getting addicted to computer games this is perhaps the first step parents should take.

4.  Children addicted to computer games will happily play for hours at a time. Although this can provide valuable free time for busy moms and dads, parents need to make sure that computer games are not their child's primary activity or form of entertainment. 

   What's Recommended?
  •       Toddlers up to 18 months old: No Screen time 
  •       Toddlers up to 18 months to 24 months: Some Screen time with a parent or caregiver.
  •       Preschoolers: Not more than 1 hour a day of educational program, together with a parent or other caregiver who can help them understand what they're watching.
  •     Children above 5 years: Parents should place consistent limits on screen time, which includes TV, social media and video games.
       
       Board Games & Outdoor Games:
      Encourage your child to get engaged in other activities that are more beneficial to them in both ways mentally and physically. Kids should be doing things that are intellectually enriching: playing with board games, playing with dice, playing with things that will improve their motor skills, reading skills, logics, visual ability & concentration. You need to have at least 4-5 different board games at home, 1-2 single player games and 2-3 multi-player games. 


Spare time to play with your child. Cherish these moments.

Art of Praising your Child


Parents usually understand the need of praising child. But most of them don’t have much idea about the effective manner, timing and frequency of praising chid.  Studies and literature also have different opinion about this.  Some experts recommend that we shall praise freely and lavishly, on the other hand few warn not to overdo the applause.
Both of the opinions seem correct as experts have strong premise to prove their argument.

First set of experts says it’s very important to praise children as it; 

  • encourages them to improve
  • keeps them  motivated
  • boosts their self esteem and confidence
  • helps get right behaviour repeated  

Second set of experts warn not to praise too much because;

  • child will find it difficult to judge his/her work accurately
  • the more praise children receive, the more they rely on adult evaluations instead of forming their own judgments
  • they afraid to take risks and try new things for fear of not always being on top.
  • it can also lead to some children becoming overconfident
There is a great debate among experts about the effects of praise on children. This debate is not about praising or not praising rather difference of opinion is because of way of praise and amount of praise.

So let’s discuss five key points which will help us to draw a balanced approach.

1.  Be Specific when Praising

Praise is much more than only saying “Good Boy” or “Good Girl”, be specific about what the praise is for.  When you are not specific, they have a hard time understanding exactly what it is they have done well. Instead of saying “Wow, you did a great art work” say “Your choice of red & yellow colour has made this work great”
This way your child will also get to know that you are noticing his/her work, and will encourages him/her to do more.

2. Praise the efforts not only results

You can always point out improvement no matter how small e.g. “You really have picked up on your reading...Appreciate”. Highlight their effort “I can see you really tried hard to get it right”
If you are looking for improvement then you need to praise the efforts and don’t need to wait for results to praise. Praising efforts can encourage your child to try hard in the future.

3. Praise must be genuine and sincere

Keep it real: Don’t say, “Good job!” when it’s not. Even young kids can see right through false praise. Praise should reflect the amount of effort the child put in. Earned praise reinforces your child’s effort and is encouraging. 

4. Praise the process/behaviour rather than the Child

"You're such a good player" or "You have such a beautiful singing voice." Be careful with this kind of praise which tends to focus on their inborn strengths/abilities. If he believes he arrived prepackaged with certain abilities, he might think he doesn't need to improve in those areas.
It's better to focus on process. In Process-based praise emphasize on what he can control, such as how much time he spends on a project or which strategies he uses.
"I am so impressed at how hard you worked on your science project" is more empowering than "Wow, you're good at science !"

5. Accentuate the Positive

Respond to wanted behaviors of your child more than you punish unwanted behaviors. The key to getting great results is to pay attention to "what's going right" rather than "what's going wrong"
Try to eliminate constant negativity around and put the focus on all the wonderful, positive things your children are doing instead. Catch them doing right things and appreciate them immediately.

Praising your child is an art and you can master it by practicing above stated five points.
Happy Parenting !!

Will rules make my Child rebel?


Usually Parents ask me this question when we discuss about having rules and discipline in their Child's life;

"Will rules make my Child rebel?”

My answer to this question is NO

Rules are one way to let your Child know you care. Many kids admit that when their parents are ‘strict’, it’s “for their own good.” Most grown up  kids appreciate having rules even when they protest your rules and authority. 

Key to place rules is " Have Rules that Make Sense"

It's important to understand which all rules shall be placed and how these shall be placed.
Categorize rules in two parts;
  • Firm Rules
  • Flexible Rules
    FIRM RULES

    Some rules are firm and not to be changed whether your Child agrees with them or  not. These rules are understood by both parents and Child.  Use firm rules when:
  • Physical or Emotional Health and Safety is at stake
  • The Family’s Values are at stake
    FLEXIBLE RULES 
    
     Some rules are open for discussion and can be negotiated, waived or changed, if there is a good reason. Use flexible rules when:
  • It’s not a health and safety issue
  • The issue does not affect or compromise family’s values
   HOW TO PLACE RULES:

   The biggest mistake we as parents do while placing a rule is, saying 

   “Because I say so!”

  EXPLAIN WHY
    When parents arbitrarily lay down the law - without explaining why or listening to
    their Child’s point of view, they will get nagging and whining or worse, lying and
    doing things behind your back.


      Involving  your child in the process of setting rules is a great way
     to help her learn acceptable behavior and make decisions when
     you’re not there.

    Keep your rules & expectations clear.

Managing ADHD or ADD

WHAT IS A.D.H.D….????

(Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)


Symptoms
ADHD used to be known as attention deficit disorder, or ADD. In 1994, it was renamed ADHD and broken down into three subtypes, each with its own pattern of behaviors:

1.     An Inattentive type, with signs that include:

·        inability to pay attention to details or a tendency to make careless errors in schoolwork or other activities
·         difficulty with sustained attention in tasks or play activities
·         apparent listening problems
·         difficulty following instructions
·         problems with organization
·         avoidance or dislike of tasks that require mental effort
·         tendency to lose things like toys, notebooks, or homework
·         distractibility
·        forgetfulness in daily activities

2.     A hyperactive-impulsive type, with signs that include:

·        fidgeting or squirming
·        difficulty remaining seated
·        excessive running or climbing
·        difficulty playing quietly
·        always seeming to be "on the go"
·        excessive talking
·        blurting out answers before hearing the full question
·        difficulty waiting for a turn or in line
·        problems with interrupting or intruding

3.  A combined type (ADHD), which involves a combination of the other two types and is the most common

Although it can be challenging to raise kids with ADHD, it's important to remember they aren't "bad," "acting out," or being difficult on purpose. And they have difficulty controlling their behavior without medication or behavioral therapy.



Learning Disabilities
About half of all kids with ADHD also have a specific learning disability. The most common learning problems are with reading (dyslexia) and handwriting. Although ADHD isn't categorized as a learning disability, its interference with concentration and attention can make it even more difficult for a child to perform well in school.

Treating ADHD
ADHD can't be cured, but it can be successfully managed. The goal is to help a child learn to control his or her own behaviour and to help families create an atmosphere in which this is most likely to happen.

Behavioral Therapy
Behavioral therapy attempts to change behaviour patterns by:

·        reorganizing a child's home and school environment
·        giving clear directions and commands
·        setting up a system of consistent rewards for appropriate behaviours and negative consequences for inappropriate ones

Here are examples of behavioural strategies that may help a child with ADHD:

·        Create a routine. Try to follow the same schedule every day, from wake-up time to bedtime. Post the schedule in a prominent place, so your child can see what's expected throughout the day and when it's time for homework, play, and chores.
·        Get organized. Put schoolbags, clothing, and toys in the same place every day so your child will be less likely to lose them.
·        Avoid distractions. Turn off the TV, radio, and computer games, especially when your child is doing homework.
·        Limit choices. Offer a choice between two things (this outfit, meal, toy, etc., or that one) so that your child isn't overwhelmed and over stimulated.
·        Change your interactions with your child. Instead of long-winded explanations and cajoling, use clear, brief directions to remind your child of responsibilities.
·        Use goals and rewards. Use a chart to list goals and track positive behaviours, then reward your child's efforts. Be sure the goals are realistic (think baby steps rather than overnight success).
·        Discipline effectively. Instead of yelling or spanking, use timeouts or removal of privileges as consequences for inappropriate behaviour. Younger kids may simply need to be distracted or ignored until they display better behaviour.
·        Help your child discover a talent. All kids need to experience success to feel good about themselves. Finding out what your child does well — whether it's sports, art, or music — can boost social skills and self-esteem.

ADHD in the Classroom

In addition to using routines and a clear system of rewards, here are some other tips to share with teachers for classroom success:

·        Reduce seating distractions. Lessening distractions might be as simple as seating your child near the teacher instead of near the window.
·        Use a homework folder for parent-teacher communications. The teacher can include assignments and progress notes, and you can check to make sure all work is completed on time.
·        Break down assignments. Keep instructions clear and brief, breaking down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces.
·        Give positive reinforcement. Always be on the lookout for positive behaviours. Ask the teacher to offer praise when your child stays seated, doesn't call out, or waits his or her turn instead of criticizing when he or she doesn't.
·        Teach good study skills. Underlining, note taking, and reading out loud can help your child stay focused and retain information.
·        Supervise. Check that your child goes and comes from school with the correct books and materials. Sometimes kids are paired with a buddy to can help them stay on track.
·        Be sensitive to self-esteem issues. Ask the teacher to provide feedback to your child in private, and avoid asking your child to perform a task in public that might be too difficult.
·        Involve the school counselor or psychologist. He or she can help design behavioural programs to address specific problems in the classroom.


Other Activities & Games:

3D View Video Games should be barred:  These kids shouldn’t play video games which has 3D view and high flashy stimulation. Rather they shall play games which requires high amount of concentration with fun and rewards. Like Find out differences, Hidden Object Games, Puzzles, Strategy based games etc.
 Encourage them to play Board Games: Encourage these kids to play board games like chess, Hexel, Carom etc.
One regular physical activity: These kids should play or do one regular physical activity daily in form of sports or dance.


**Consult nearest  Expert for Diagnose and help.

Be Specific when Praising

When you are praising your child, be specific about what the praise is for. Children need to learn to evaluate their own success. When you are not specific, they have a hard time understanding exactly what it is they have done well. Being specific can be hard to do every single time we are giving our children a compliment. There will be many times you don’t even hear half of what your child is telling you and you simple say, “Good Job.” We are not perfect, it happens. But try to be specific as often as you can remember to. Instead of telling her, “Good job cleaning your room,” you might say, ‘You did a very good job putting all your toys where they go. Your room looks great, thank you.” Another example could be, “I am so happy that you cleaned up the juice you spilled, and thank you for putting the dirty clothes into the laundry.” Remember to tell your child thank you. Your child will know that you appreciate what she does and in return she will want to continue pleasing you. Using these techniques, your child will feel more confident about the praise, and she will have a better understanding of what she has done well so she can keep on doing it.

Manish Sharma
Parental Coach
+91 9888436212

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MANISH SHARMA
+91 7009227572
LUDHIANA, Panjab